Tag Archives: funny blogs

5 Reasons why winter makes you age

11 Feb
Is it bad I'm legitimately excited for Thursday?

Is it bad I’m legitimately excited for Thursday?

1. Staying in is suddenly so much more appealing than going out to the bar. I feel like a bit of a curmudgeon about it, but then again, I don’t really care. Guys, I think the last time I went out to the bar it was 50 degrees out. And even then, I’m pretty sure I was complaining about how chilly I was. But I mean, seriously. LOOK AT THIS FORECAST.

2. Napping. I just had one of those, “Oops I just fell asleep for two hours!” moments. Because, oops! I just fell asleep for two hours.

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I bet you want a roommate that matches your decor now, huh?

3. Soup consumption. Eating nothing but soup for three months straight doesn’t sound gross or disgusting at all. It sounds good, appealing, fantastic even. Bring on the veggies! The potatoes! The cheese!

4. You’ll spend so much time inside your house or apartment, you will begin to get excited about the most menial things. Like vacuuming your rug, finishing a new crossword puzzle, mopping the salt out of your entryway, getting a letter in the mail, finding out your roommate matches your apartment decor, discovering that your streets have been plowed, and realizing your love for NPR. Wow. I just, I need to get out more.

5. Knitting. Today I knit two hats. Sorry, I am not sorry.

5 ways I know that I am definitely NOT turning into my mother.

30 Jan

As we age, I’m sure we all start to see similarities between our parents and ourselves. But me? Pshhh. No! Never! I am nothing like my mother. And here’s why:

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1. We definitely do not have the same fashion sense, let alone the same wardrobe. I mean, just look at the picture here to the left. Clearly my hair is parted on the opposite side, we are wearing shirts that are two totally different shades of gray, and my scarf is a COMPLETELY different pattern than her scarf. I mean, there is also no way that we are both wearing the exact same white denim vest underneath the scarf. That would and has never ever happened….

2. We do not like the same type of food. My mom and I go to Leo’s Coney Island for lunch about once a week or so. And every time she orders the same thing, and it’s just so gross– a Greek salad, with no chicken, and EXTRA beets. EXTRA beets? I mean, eew! Beets are gross. The Greek salad that I order every time has NO beets on it, and extra chicken. We are SO totally different. 

3. I do not like to dance like she likes to dance. When I was a kid, my mom used to sit me down in the living room, put on our Michael Jackson’s Number 1’s DVD, and make me watch her dance for hours on end. Now don’t get me wrong, it was totally entertaining, but in no way did it ever spur a love for ridiculous dancing in me. I mean, me, dance? Never! I have never ever danced around to Bruno Mars’ “Treasure” in the kitchen with my mom, laughing so hard our sides hurt and we forget why we were in the kitchen in the first place… I mean, no, that’s ridiculous! 

4. We do not have the same sense of humor. I did a “Looking Local” with my mom a few months back, and it was a total bomb. We just didn’t click, because she and I do not find the same things funny. I mean, the proof is HERE. Neither of us laugh at all during the whole video. 

5. COMPARE THESE TWO PICTURES. I mean, I just don’t see the similarities. We don’t even look related!Image

Well, I mean, in all serious, I guess being like my mom isn’t such a bad thing.

Happy Birthday, Mom! You’re like a great bottle of wine–you’re only getting better as you age. Love you! Also,go ahead, comment on this and wish my mom a Happy Birthday! I know she’d absolutely LOVE it. 

 

For more, go to http://everydaybytay.com

I’m Pretty Ugly

15 Feb

ImageI’d like to thank Beyonce for my first online popular blog mention. Or rather, the photographer who captured the beautiful Beyonce making incredibly atrocious faces while dancing during her superbowl performance. Now, pretty girls taking pictures of themselves taking disgustingly ugly faces is an online phenomenon. 

Personally, I think the meme is a great way for girls to have fun, be goofy, and let their inner-ugly out! I mean, we don’t have to be pretty all the time, right?

Earlier this week I posted on the subreddit linked above, as a joke, to have some fun and mostly to see how gross of a face I could make. Well, today I got a tweet here where I was told that my face may be posted on Heavy.com’s blog about the new internet phenom.

WELL LO AND BEHOLD, THERE WAS MY PRETTY UGLY MUG RIGHT ON THE SITE. It figures. Of all the things to get noticed for, it’s for one of my ridiculous faces. However, I totally can’t complain. I am incredibly flattered they chose to feature my face! They like me, they really like me!

GUYS, DOES THIS MEAN I’M FAMOUS?!

Why I Fail at Mondays

14 Jan

It’s about 9:40am, I have a class in 40 minutes across campus in the Auditorium (1. Why I even decided that taking a class that was a half-hour walk away from my home was a good idea, I will never know) and it’s incredibly icy outside. So I, being myself, decide that it would be a stellar idea to drive my car to the end of my street, park it, and then walk from there–cutting at least 8 minutes off of my walking time. (2. That’s actually not such a bad idea.) However, I go to unlock my car, and the locking mechanism makes some gut-wrenching whirring noises, and grinds to a halt. I fiddle with the key-fob and put the actual car key into the lock. (3. How primitive, right?) However, the handle lies limp, and I’m locked out of my vehicle. (4. By this time, it’s about 10:00am, and I’m frustrated.)

So I do what I always do when I don’t know what to do–I call my mom. I’m frantically telling her that I broke my car, and I either have to go get it fixed or just buy a new one all together. (5. By this time in my life, my poor 12-year-old Honda had run into some major trouble more than a few times.) She tells me to go inside and boil some water to pour over the handle.

(6. Duh.)

In my frantic morning state, I completely disregarded that fact that, huh, MAYBE, just MAYBE the locks on my car had frozen overnight, and they were struggling to work through all the ice and the cold from last nights leftover precipitation. (7. Sometimes, I can be really thick.)

Well by this time, I’m beyond late for class, and I feel downright poopy. But I decide to spend my new-found free time wisely, by writing this blog. 

Happy Monday errybody! Have you ever had a sucky Monday? Please share–because misery loves company! 

How NOT to make Christmas Cookies

21 Dec
I'm clearly an expert

I’m clearly an expert

We all make Christmas cookies–or if you’re like me, you eat a lot of dough when you’re supposed to be making Christmas cookies, and then you never get good at making Christmas cookies. Like, ever.

So today, because we’re all snowed in and have been teetering on the edge of being without power up here in Lake Ann, Michigan, my mom and I decided to tackle the cookie baking. We really expanded our horizons this year, got a bag of Betty Crocker sugar cookie mix, the makings for our homemade butter cream frosting, and started to bake. Now I mentioned before, that I am NO GOOD at making cookies that look good–but that doesn’t mean that they don’t taste alright. So here’s a list of tips on how NOT to make Christmas Cookies.

1. Definitely do NOT forget to use flour. Especially if you’re trying to use cookie cutters to shape your cookies. You’ll end up with dough ALL over your hands. You’ll try to take a picture of your hands with your phone, and end up getting dough all over your phone, and decide that the only way to get it off is to, well, eat the dough. Which all together isn’t an awful problem, except for that moment when you realize that you’re sitting alone in your kitchen licking your phone. #notashamed.

It was an adventure!

It was an adventure!

2. Definitely do NOT eat all of the dough. No matter how much your five-year-old self wants you to. You’ll get sick (I once got food poisoning from eating too much dough, seriously!) AND you’ll end up with only 8 or 9 cookies. No I’m not kidding, this batch really only made that many cookies, and I’m really disappointed.

3. Definitely do NOT commit to making shaped cookies if you don’t have a rolling pin. Rolling pins are ESSENTIAL in flattening your dough-canvas in order to make cookies in pretty Christmas shapes. You may have to resort to, well, other measures in order to acquire something that you can use to roll out the dough. Like this very nice beer bottle that I, uh, found.

4. Definitely do NOT wear socks if you have spilled flour all over your wood floor. YOU WILL SLIP, possibly while carrying a cookie sheet full of ready-to-bake Christmas tree cookies. Also, it’s probably not best to cook while wearing one of your favorite sweaters. There was flour, FLOUR EVERYWHERE.

However, despite all of my cookie cooking mishaps, I managed to produce a fine (very small) batch of sugar cookie Christmas trees. What are your Christmas cookie baking tips? And for more blogs, go to everydaybytay.com!

The Four Facebook friends you will never delete.

21 Jun

I was scanning through my Facebook friends the other day, trying to do some routine maintenance.  And as my mouse hovered over the delete button of more than a few friends, I realized that there are some connections that I can’t possibly delete, and I don’t think that you can either. Take a look.

1. Your Mom. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to delete your mom. She’s pressured you to accept her request, and although she posts nothing but cat pictures and borderline-inappropriate comments on every single one of your statuses, you know that the wrath you would endure from deleting her is far worse than the wrath you’re currently enduring by having her as a friend. Oh and also because you love her and whatever yadda yadda yadda. I feel lucky, my mom doesn’t actually have a Facebook. However, that somehow doesn’t stop her from stalking my page.

2. Your high school crushes. Let’s be honest, you never did really get over them, did you? You can’t possibly delete them, because then you’d have to stop stalking their pages and getting way too excited when you see that they’ve broken up with their college girlfriends. Don’t lie, you know it’s true.

3. The train wrecks. Just how we somehow can’t stop watching Jersey Shore and the Real World, Teen Mom and American Idol (wait, that’s not a train wreck?) we can’t delete the extreme party-ers, the high school dropouts, and our local-Lindsay-Lohans. Whether it’s because we enjoy watching them fail, or because we’re secretly rooting for them to succeed, we can’t delete them. Trainwrecks are, tragically, too hard not to watch.

4. That One Kid from that one time. You know what I mean. We all have one. Maybe we met them at a party once, or maybe we had that one class together freshman year. We both know there was no real connection, but somehow we find ourselves stalking their vacation photos, learning the names of each one of their cats, and scanning through their profile pictures at least once a week. You wouldn’t dare write on their wall, or like any of their posts, but you can’t bring yourself to delete them, either.

However, no matter what, I seem to have no problem deleting any and every:

1. Walmart Wolverine. Seriously guys, I don’t need to read your unintelligent rants and raves about how your team (which you have no REAL allegiance to) is awesome and how they’re so much better than the Spartans and yadda yadda yadda. I respect the students on that Ann Arbor campus, really I do. But if you don’t go there, just don’t pretend like you do. Seriously. You’re nonsensical and I don’t need to see it. Like this post if you agree!

If there’s a particular friend that you can’t seem to delete, or one that you delete almost immediately, please share! And if you like my stuff, you can find more of it on everydaybytay.com! Like and comment and all that jazz.

Why Kristen Wiig basically rocks

21 May

While watching last night’s Saturday Night Live on Hulu this morning, I found myself tearing up nearly every time that Kristen Wiig was on screen. Now I know that seems senseless and silly. Kristen Wiig is absolutely hilarious, and she has never failed to make me laugh– but I guess it hit me that her leaving SNL could be considered sorta the end of an era. That era being the past seven years–my adolescence, really– that I’ve spent watching this incredible character of a woman and her hilarious antics on Saturday Night Live. She can fricken hold her own. Seriously.

Kristen, if you ever read this–which is highly doubtful– I’m thankful I’ve gotten to watch you perform for the past seven years, and I can’t wait to see what you’ll do next. And now I’m going to list for you, here in this blog, just why I think you’re so awesome.

1. She’s not afraid to get ugly. Maybe it’s the fact that there’s this obvious beauty requirement for women in the media to be successful, maybe its stereotypes or whatever. I don’t care. But that’s probably why it’s so marvelous that the strange, odd, and frankly, hideous characters that Kristen created on Saturday Night Live are many of the reasons that she is so memorable. Gilly made us smile through our cringing, the Target lady made us pee we laughed so hard (or maybe that was just meee) and Juneice from the Lawrence Welk Show made us roll around on the floor holding our stomachs. Absolutely odd and hideous women on the outside, but hilarious and gut-busting characters all around. And seriously, no one could carry a scene better than Kristen Wiig.

2. Sue the Surprise Lady. Yeah, she can be a reason all her own. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve imitated this character (rather poorly, I might add) and how many times I’ve had to stop in the middle of my impersonation and laugh my little butt off. It doesn’t matter what the surprise ended up being, or how silly the sketch was, Kristen Wiig in that short curly wig and the atrocious salvation army sweaters was more than enough to put my personal laugh track over the edge.

3. Bridesmaids. Okay. There are a lot of different opinions of this movie. Some think it was a revolutionary “Hangover, but with chicks” others think it was a flop, and even others–myself included– think it was a lovely, hilarious film, that taught us all a thing or two. Maybe it was the stuff I was going through at the time that made me relate to the movie so much, or maybe it was the fact that I’ve always not-so-secretly wanted Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolf to be my best friends. Maybe it was both those things. But I love that fricken movie so fricken much. And you bet your bottom dollar I can quote every line.

4. She’s like, a real person. I’ve watched a few (or tons) of Kristen Wiig interviews. Late Night, not-so-late -night, whatever. If it’s on YouTube, I’ve probably watched it. And never have I watched a celebrity be so humble, so funny, so completely normal, when in an interview. It kind of makes you think that there is hope that I could stay normal if I ever became famous. Ha! Wouldn’t that be somethin’.

5. This. KristenWiig.com. This speaks for itself, and further proves my point above.

So thank you, Kristen Wiig. For being real, hilarious, odd and wonderful, and for being someone on SNL that I could look forward to watching. And to all of you readers out there, if you haven’t seen this heart-wrenching goodbye sketch that was on the season finale on Saturday night, you need to watch this. And I dare you not to tear up.

And what’s YOUR favorite Kristen Wiig sketch/quote?! Comment below, leave me suggestions, share memories, etc.

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